Adoption: Did you change your child's/children's name(s)?

My sister and brother changed their childs name when they got him. The mothers big plan was to leave the baby at the hospital so she just randomly picked a name for the birth certificate. They changed his name to something that wouldnt get him beat up in high school and that flowed well with their last name.

Adoption: Did you change your child's/children's name(s)?
We did not change our son's first name, but we did change his middle name. We chose to do this not to "strip" him of his identity but rather to allow him to start fresh. Our son came from a neglectful situation and we were concerned that the middle name he had would be a reminder of that as he became older and learned of his situation. We chose to change that name, with the full intention that when he is old enough to understand, we will share all that info with him and if chooses to change his name, we will do everything we can to help him do that.
Reply:My husband and I will be adopting my nieces in the near future formally.





My eldest desperately wants to change her first name, but I personally do not feel it's a good idea. I understand, but she's just 8. I don't want to allow her to change her birth name and later have her regret it.





What we will probably do for her and her sister is allow them to choose their own new middle names if they would like to, or add an additional middle name and they can decide what they'd like to be called as a common name.





I think it's very wrong to force a name change (except for last names of younger children) on an adopted child who's old enough to respond to it. A name is so much a part of who we are and our identity, and taking that away from a child completely is very tragic.
Reply:no,


But I was a foster child for 13 years and up for adoption a few times.


so I thought a lot about it a lot.


I greatly disagree with the person who said it is wrong to take away a childs name and give them an americanized one.


I definately would have changed mine if I had aquiecesed and gotten adopted.


My name would have blended better with my new last name and fit in with my new siblings names. it also was a play on my birth name. so it would have honored both sets of parents
Reply:My oldest daughter recieved a new name. At the time of adoption she had only one name (international adoption) and it as a very ethnic name. We felt that it was "too ethnic" for a child that was not going to be raised in the environment she was born into. We changed it to an ethnic name for her home country but one that was not overly ethnic sounding for her to be raised with in Canada.





Our youngest daughter naturally received a new last name when she was adopted and while we kept her first name we did modify it slightly. We have 3 "official" documents for her each with a slightly different first name depending what state her birth parents were in when the completed the forms. (She had been apprehended by DSS at the hospital as an infant). One of those names was just one first name, one was a two part name and one was the same name only hyphenated. All we did was keep the one first name and drop the hyphenated portion.
Reply:Yes, but I will warn you, it was a hard decision, and we do feel good about it now, but struggled with it. Most people will tell you we stripped them of their identities, but we decided to move their first names to the middle names and then move give them new first names, but they can be called by whatever name they want. They agreed to this, not just to please us because it is an important part for children who have been severely neglected and abused too feel like a new beginning, without taking fully from their past.





So that is what we did, and maybe in 20 years I will be wrong but I don't think so.
Reply:i was never legally named before my adoption. so my adopted name is my first legal name.





i am a great advocate of keeping names. i completely understand changing last names, but first name-i dont think it should be done. ESPECIALLY in international adoptions. those children lost their country, heritage. the only thing they have left is their names. they deserve to keep that.
Reply:First name: No


Middle name: Yes


Last name: Yes





We have an open adoption and my daughter knows what her full given name is. When she is in deep trouble I call her by all her names which sounds something like : "Jessie Marie Becker Noelle Harris, what is this green stuff on the walls?"
Reply:I've never adopted, but I have to bust in on this one...





My neighbor fostered three kids: Roy, Melanie and I can't remember the other boy's name. They were school-aged. When she adopted them she re-named them Lance, Luke and Leta. It always bothered me.





Aside from the annoying alliteration and the fact that they sound like redneck names (sorry if I offended anyone named those names) it URKED me that kids that have been called one name for 10+ years had to up and change their name. So weird.
Reply:At 18 I had a little girl. I picked the family that was to adopt her at birth. I did it privately after trying an agency. They came to all of the doctor visits and took care of me the best way they know how. When the time came to deliver, they were there on one side of the bed, and my folks on the other side. When she was born she held her first and cut the cord. They named her. She was hers.





In my situation it worked, in others I couldn't tell you.
Reply:You know, my adoptive mother changed my name when I was a baby. As an adult now, I can't understand why she would have wanted to.





I asked her about it once, she claimed that because I was part of this New family I deserved a new name. Also, because I am Indian and born with a traditional Indian name, my adoptive mother re-named me to giving me a more American name as she raised me here.





No hard feelings, I just don't entirely understand her thought process. :)
Reply:Not their first names. The children chose middle names (that wasn't a custom in their home country) and we tacked on our surname at the end.





Names go:





(Unchanged first name) (Chosen Americanized Middle name) (Unchanged birth surname) (American surname).
Reply:My parents weren't told that I had been given a name. I found out what it was the other day and my parents were really angry that no one had told them that I had a name. However, since my original name is a total trashy stripper name, I'm okay with not having kept it.
Reply:although i have never adopted children a close family friend of mine has and with one child she adopted her when she was just a few months old and she name her.. and the 2nd child he ws four and they kept his name but then when he was 5 or 6 i think they chnaged it..
Reply:my a parents kept me and my twin brothers first and middle names. Obviously, our last names were changed. I found out from my bio dad(when we still had contact) that he named us. I'm rather happy about that.
Reply:my mom has 5 adopted kid me being one nd she never changed our names not even our last she just added her last name on to our but she changed my younger sisters middle name because she already had another daughter with that middle name
Reply:We made their first names their middle names.
Reply:My daughters were two and three when we adopted them. We decided to change their names first names in spelling and gave them our last name.
Reply:It depends upon you. There is no compulsion for the same.
Reply:I named my son, his first name was changed, middle name kept

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